Breast Cancer Entry Twenty-Four

I had the most unusual dream last night. It wasn’t like any dream I ever had before…

I dreamed I was walking along an ornately carved wall that looked like it stretched on forever. It was carved from dark polished woods and was Asian in theme. Every now and then the wall would recess into an alcove where I could see people praying and meditating. I came to one such alcove and a monk was meditating. He had the kindest countenance! I asked him “Why am I here?” He said “To discover.” So I asked him what I was supposed to discover. He simply waved his arm as if to draw my attention to the gorgeous wall carvings. I touched the wall and noticed that one of the sections looked like a drawer. I tugged at it and a long empty drawer came out. I held it in my hand and the monk said “It is yours.” I was bewildered and I said the drawer was empty and what was I supposed to do with it? He answered “Not so empty.”

The drawer was immediately filled with pearls – my pearls. The monk waved his arm again and I looked behind me. There were rows and rows of steps leading down from the carved walls and at the foot of the many rows of steps was a vast gathering of women. They didn’t seem to notice me. They were all rather colorless, very pale as if in a grey shadow. They were doing every day things. Some looked like business women, some like mothers. Some looked like athletes. They were of all ages.

I took my box of pearls and went into the dull crowd of women. They seemed sad and tired at first. They were drawn to my pearls so I just held the drawer out and let them take some. They asked me where I got the box and I said in the carved wall. They climbed the stairs and started pulling drawers from the wall. There were thousands of carved drawers and each woman had her own. Their drawers were filled with pearls too.

They came back to the crowd and others went up the stairs to the wall, located their drawers and returned to the crowd. We all began sharing our pearls with each other.
The lifelessness lifted; I and the other women, and our surrounding began to be bathed in wonderful alive colors. I watched the light spread over the land as far as I could see. We began to share this joyfulness and excitement about sharing with each other. Some women had boxes of pink pearls; some had exotic black pearls, and so on. Every shape and size of beautiful pearl was represented and we were all sharing generously. It was very happy. I realized the wall would never run out of drawers and that every woman who climbed the stairs could have one for herself.

It’s hard to explain how beautiful these pearls were or how amazing the colors became…
I felt so much love and communion with the other women. It was wonderful. Anyway I woke up…I don’t want to think too much about this. It was meaningful to me.

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