I had a long talk with my dad tonight. I was telling him how much I hated the treatments now because I thought I was cured and how much the doctors can’t let go of their process to invest in this healing, which they do admit, but they just want to be “prudent” because of how ill I started out and about how serious they believed the cancer was.
My dad said that only I could decide when it was time to take “the leap of faith” and know when the treatments were over and when I could trust this healing. He said that I should take the time to really pray and meditate and try to come to some belief as to whether or not I was healed and the cancer was gone. He said only when I settled that question for myself could I move forward with peace of mind and make the right decisions for any more treatments.
The truth is; these treatments can sometimes cause long term side effects. Even though there have been many break- throughs and improvements, it is still a rough process and can really hurt a body. I am tired of be frightened for myself. I want to enjoy this wonderful gift and share it with all the people that have prayed for me and reached out to me. I am going to settle this question in my mind…it’s going to take some effort and real pondering. I want to know in my heart if this healing is true and that I can trust it and if it is time to let go of this phase and get on with building my health and life again.