Breast Cancer Entry Thirty-Seven

I trust this healing in my life.

I tried to do radiation, but I just couldn’t finish it. It’s not that I am a coward either. It was absolutely dreadful I must admit, but that lovely intuitive part of me that knows best clearly screamed at me to stop. After all, we are treating a cancer no one can find and the chances of nasty side effects from this high dose radiation felt too risky to me. A large percentage of women that get left side radiation experience heart, lung and esophagus problems later. I decided it was a risk I didn’t want to take. Especially since no cancer can be found to treat.

My radiologist was very upset with me. At one point she put her finger in my face and said “If this cancer comes back, it will come back with a vengeance, and you will not survive!” Those were fighting words. Who put her in charge of my survival?!!! It is amazing to me how little the medical community seems to honor the spiritual and intuitive abilities of a person to heal and how little interest they have in holistic treatment of Cancer – Cut, poison and burn….these are their only tools. They all admit I am a miracle, but they dare not open their minds to how I managed to do the impossible and cure this cancer. I told the doctor that if she could cure the next person of my disease then be my guest….since all my doctors agree they have never experienced a healing such as mine they really can’t argue much with me. I know far more about healing my own body and about when it feels right than they could ever know about me. I felt chemo had a role in my healing, but I am not convinced that gigantic doses of radiation are going to help me. So I said no more… I am finishing the chemo therapy and I will be doing a treatment every three weeks until June. I am taking them very well, so as long as I feel right about it I will continue. I am still eating carefully and taking my herbs and exercising, etc…

The radiation has already done quite a bit of damage to my clavicle and “fried” the lymph pumps in my shoulder and under my arm. I have terrible edema in my arm and have had to wear pressure bandages 24 hrs. a day. We won’t know if it will ever be better until all the treatments and surgeries are over. Unbelievable.

I will have to cure this. I have started getting physical therapy and massages. I am starting a nutritional approach as well. And of course, a bunch of prayer and meditation should help.

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