I had a phone meeting with the head of radiation at my clinic. He assured me that they could do as good of a job treating me as the MD Anderson clinic in Houston. So I think I will stay here and get radiation treatment.

Later in the week I met with my Oncology Radiologist. She is very caring but persistent that I finish this protocol. I am still concerned about going through with this Especially since they can’t find cancer anymore and it seems so unnecessary and invasive. The doctors don’t know what to do with me now. I am a complete mystery to them and they have no “model” to work from anymore. It is amazing what a hard time they are having accepting this healing. They just won’t believe it and they want to push ahead as if I have cancer still even though every indication is I don’t. They can’t find any remnant of this disease and yet they just won’t reconsider treatment.

I am in a difficult position because I feel like I have to trust them and yet it doesn’t make sense to me. It doesn’t really make sense to any of them either. They think inside this medical model of a box and there is no room in it for marvelous outcomes such as mine.

I am going to start the radiation and see how it goes. I may stop it all unless I feel intuitively better about pressing forward. Right now I just don’t know what to do. It is difficult to enjoy this incredible gift of health when I am constantly subjected to the doubtfulness and persistence of the traditional medical community. My preventative care team is thrilled and ready to can any more traditional stuff and start getting completely healed from the last 9 months. It’s very confusing and I have much to consider…