I have been getting radiation treatments for two weeks. I emotionally have a very hard time because the whole experience is so foreign to me and so insulting. I lay on this hard bed (do the people that make medical equipment think everyone weighs 95 pounds? Because every one of these machines have the skinniest tables!) Anyway, I lay there bare-chested, arms up and hanging onto little handles while everyone else ducks behind 10 foot lead walls (maybe an exaggeration) so they are not exposed. Then I hear a shrill buzz that lets me know the whopper of all radiation is heading my way. I am careful not to move so I don’t get burned too deep or in the wrong place. The machine moves a few times and the techs come in and adjust things along the way. It only takes a few minutes, but I know I have been zapped. My skin is just starting to turn red and I am tired.
The technicians are wonderful though. Ben brings me some hard-core rock and roll music to listen too. Today it was Led Zeplin and Monday he is bringing me The Kinks to listen to while I am in treatment – Very funny and so nurturing. I brought them a box of bakery cookies today and you would have thought I brought them gold nuggets they were so appreciative.
Oh yes, and yesterday I had a chemotherapy treatment. I can’t believe what my body has been through over these last 9 months, and I especially can’t believe the last 6 weeks; major surgery, 3 massive chemotherapy treatments and 14 radiation treatments…Holy cow! I am in surprisingly good shape anyway and my spirits and energy are pretty good. It’s good to know I can bail at any time if I want to…I’m getting closer and closer.
I had a few of my medical team for dinner the day before chemo. Brenden, Jarrod and Dr. Gary (my holistic care team) It was great and they are so supportive and we talked a lot about how to share this experience with others. I hope we find a way because I truly believe others could have the results I have had.
I have the weekend off. Yeah! I need a break from all this… Think I’ll do some art!